gifts

you know that you have a rare friend when she goes out, braves the mall with a bored husband at her side, and actually does your christmas shopping for you. this such friend is jenna, and i am very indebted to her for rounding up three perfect gifts i had in mind.

we had a gift exchange at work today, and after much thought and exacto-knife cut outs of everything from the latin text "i p.v." to the yellow and black halves of a macrobid capsule and a failed attempt to reproduce any auxiliary label in vinyl form, i finally came up with the perfect design for my pharmacy intern: the chemical structure of vicodin, lest she be relegated to the mundane life of retail pharmacy and lose all her book knowledge.

cassie imparted some wisdom upon jenna and me some months ago, giving us a warning about life after fifty that she had wished someone would have had the foresight to give to her. that the hair down there goes away. so i brought to life a new design that i'd had at the back of my head for over a year, so that she could always lay claim to ownership of some patch:

jenna got me a fantastic pair of mucklucks so now i have my coveted calf-high house booties to protect me from the cold hardwoods. i ordered her some cute digs from zappos, but despite the one day shipping, my saturday order got held up on the 21st and the tracking shows this message: "7:00 P.M. ADVERSE WEATHER CONDITIONS."